can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
