Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
