her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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