That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
