The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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