Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
