Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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