We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
