omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
no you cant smoke seaweed
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
