Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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