I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
