Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
