did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I don't deserve a penis
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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