I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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