I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Don't EVER smell your tampon
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
