The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
