sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
