dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize