i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
