when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
