Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
