They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
As shirtless as possible
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
