I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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