Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
