His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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