Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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