So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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