i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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