On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
