AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
