her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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