im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
