You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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