I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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