I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
50% drunk capacity currently
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
