I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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