I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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