Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
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I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
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When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends