Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.