I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"