Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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