That's intense
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
