how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
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