yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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