dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
