Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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