a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
