he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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