SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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