I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
operation have a gay friend backfired
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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