You're so nebulous sometimes
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Is that strawberry winking at me??
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
