Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
