I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
