She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
