You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize