I heard we made out
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
