Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize