Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize