this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
