Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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