i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize