how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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