apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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