well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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