what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
